Monday, January 28, 2019

Neglect, Domestic Violence and Mental Health Issues in the South Sudanese Community


By Wilma Achol Madut Ring*

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"The voices of these women are acting as eye-openers into issues that are mostly frowned upon. There are grey areas that need to be well explored to ensure everyone’s wellbeing especially that of the children. Without going deep into both major topics—Domestic Violence and Mental health—I am sure we may agree that these are areas of concern."
~  Wilma Achol Madut Ring
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Photo: courtesy of the author's
Facebook Account.
The recent ‘live videos’ made by a few South Sudanese women/mothers in Australia have sparked a serious debate on social media on issues of domestic violence and mental health. It started with a video by one woman—and I’ll not go into her personal detail for privacy reasons—which shows how distraught, frustrated and overwhelmed she was with all the responsibilities and the burden she has endured. This left her at the mercy of her negligent partner. Her video has clearly shown how much she had held in before she decided to lash out in such a manner in public. Another video was from a mother who similarly has had her handful with overwhelming issues that she has dealt with for some time until she eventually decided to lash out in public.

Now, without delving too much into the details of what went wrong and what not, we may have all noticed how much pain was conveyed through their messages. Most of us have made a few comments, expressed our concerns and anger in many forms possible.

Surprisingly, it was more of a noble gesture, or even courageous, for a few men to have come out and condemned the men that were the aggressors in the situations. In most cases, it’s very rare for men to publicly come out in support and condemn their male counterparts. Such loud outbursts of women or any of a kind are treated as bringing shame to the family name and the ‘Mighty Culture’. Women are suppressed and pressured into keeping quiet just for the sake of the “Culture” and the family name. A good woman must not complain or air out the family’s dirty laundry; it’s considered disrespectful.

Growing up within the ‘culture’ and having been married for ten years now, I have heard phrases like ‘Diaar aa gum’, meaning ‘women should endure’ and tik e yen baai chieŋ, meaning ‘a woman should be the one that ensures her marriage and her home is intact’. Therefore, as a woman, you are obligated to endure any kind of pain, mistreatment, unfairness, be it from the husband, in-laws or extended family members, without any complaint and in the process, one has to ensure the culture and family name is well kept with pride and dignity. Any kind of an outburst as such or a woman expressing her frustrations in public, is considered to be either from an ill-mannered woman or a woman who’s lost track of the cultural values.

Besides, there is a general perception that mothers/women are natural nurturers and primary carers, hence the reason the culture projects how they should be the ones that hold the family together.  Sadly, some people have misconstrued the idea and use it for their benefit and use culture to scapegoat. In some cases, mothers/women are blamed in the case of family breakdowns or when there’s the case of unruly children. Even in cases that clearly show a man’s misconduct, a woman is blamed for having not put up with it and still keep the family together. Men are not condemned and not held accountable for their actions; the society somehow condones it and one will again hear phrases like, Eyen ë tan röör; Ee yen ëtë chieŋ ë bɛ̈ɛ̈i' meaning, that’s how men are that’s how marriages are; it’s normal.

Some of the issues mentioned in the videos rotated around were, neglect (lack of support, financially, emotionally and physically), abuse, manipulation and social isolation. The women expressed how much their current and former partners (in this case, fathers of their children and other fathers) should step in, in taking their responsibilities if all else has failed. Such issues have impacts/impacted on women’s mental health and that of the children involved.
Therefore, there’s a need for everyone concerned and the community at large to rally behind these burdened women and start educating, preventing and exploring possible solutions to interrupt our mental health problems and safeguard our social wellbeing.

Speaking up against men’s neglect is considered as such:  since living ‘pan Kawaja’, women finding their voices and resisting abuse has been mistaken as adapting a new-found freedom, abandoning one’s culture. If I may ask, is culture about abuse? Does one have to suffer to be a good woman/wife? Why is it okay for a woman to please a man, protect his image, that of the family and the culture at the expense of her own emotional wellbeing? Since Divorce or separation is not a new thing, is one not still obliged to look after their children?

The voices of these women are acting as eye-openers into issues that are mostly frowned upon. There are grey areas that need to be well explored to ensure everyone’s wellbeing especially that of the children. Without going deep into both major topics—Domestic Violence and Mental health—I am sure we may agree that these are areas of concern.

Currently, as an advocate for South Sudanese mental health and Wellbeing, I am working alongside community members in thoroughly exploring this area.  Hopefully soon, we will have programs that will run in educating and supporting the community in such issues.

Let’s find ways to address these issues without playing the gender war. Both men and women are affected in various ways though it depends on the scales and numbers.

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*Wilma Achol Madut Ring is a community mental health advocate. For more information, contact the author at wilmamadut@yahoo.com.au 
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Editorial Note: 

The views expressed in the article belong to the author and do not reflect the views of THE PHILOSOPHICAL REFUGEE. For the veracity of the claims in the article, please contact the author.




ON CULTURAL IDENTITY & BELONGING

Dear Melbournians, the South Sudanese people to be precise. Do you think we have seen it all? Do you think we have seen that: I mean in the aftermath of yesteryears, in regard to our culture and the notions around identity and belonging? Do you think we have seen the true reaping of what we sowed years ago? Do you really think so? After all, did we really sow anything like seeds and that there’s something to be reaped? Did we really live it out well to be seen today?

I am sorry to have bothered you, my potential readers, with questions regarding our social, economic, and political location in our host society: Australia. I think we have not seen it all and as a whole: The idea that people are bound by certain values and beliefs of significance to them. This requires cooperation and role-specific obligations on the roles of every man and woman across a given people and their society.

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While it is possible for us to racially discriminate or judge people we know, the chances of judging people we know diminish significantly the more we know them. An easy example of the importance of understanding others is the attitude people develop when they want to harm others or when they want to deny them something valuable. Essentially, before you fight someone, you insult them. Insults are attempts at diminishing the value of people, an attempt at estranging them, as Toni Morrison argued in The Origin of Others. It is easy to discriminate against strangers or make others strangers or dehumanized in order to discriminate against them.

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Leadership, given what is happening now in South Sudan, and generally in Africa, fascinates me. And it fascinates me not in a good way but because of the sociopolitical and socioeconomic ills facing the African continent and most of the so-called 'Third World.' To me, South Sudan, now, is a classic case.

Rebellion by disaffected politico-military leaders and repression by the government of South Sudan in Juba have stunted institutional development and leadership growth. This has made service provision almost irrelevant as political survival has taken primacy and supremacy. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

‘Black’ as an Identity Oversimplification and Mockery

Black as a universalized cultural identity of the African Person (AP)* is a residual effect of slave and colonial mentality; a racial/race paradigm. It is a malady I call, conservatively speaking, stuck-in-the-past syndrome of color constraints. Black could be an on-the-street ‘social identifier’ of race figures not a meaningful phenomenon of deep cultural identification on a universal scale.